We are a group of men who feel like being the sheriffs of your life. We want to tell what it means to have swagger and how to obtain it. You might feel as if you don’t need it, but you do. You need to present yourself at your finest at every moment. First impressions are key, and If you walk around looking like Ted Bundy your whole existence, you won’t get anywhere. People like people who are liked. And to be likeable, you need to have a genuine confidence about you. Have you ever met a successful person who doesn’t have swagger? No. They all have it. They might not know that that’s what they have, but they have it, no doubt.
Spring Heeled Jack – Style (Swagology)
My name is Spring Heeled Jack, I have never attended fashion school. I have never worked for a fashion magazine, designer, or a department store. I did not attend art school, or live in Paris. As you can tell, I do not have much of a background in Fashion. But, I do have Swagger. So much in fact that I decided to start a blog and tell each and everyone of you what you should and shouldn’t be wearing. How’s that for some Swag? I know what I like when I see it, and I custom tailor my life and everything in it, and so, If you want to set yourself apart and stop letting good enough be good enough, then you will do the same. I have no right, and as you can see, no credentials to tell you what to do, but I’m going to anyways, and you are going listen because ultimately you know I’m right. Step your game up, Homie.
Little Red Riding Hood – Health and Fitness (FitSwag)
My name is Little Red Riding Hood, and don’t let the name fool you; I have swagger. I grew up in the woods, eating organic food, breathing clean air, drinking fresh water, and pissing excellence. My passion is sports and any type of outdoor adventure. I believe that to have outer swagger, you have to first have inner swagger. I’m not talking about feeling good about yourself no matter who you are and what you look like, that’s for suckers. I’m talking about eating right and exercising. I want you to feel clean, fresh, and confident from the inside out, this is where swagger comes from. This is step one. No one will care about your sharp new suit if you are 40 lbs. overweight. No one wants to travel the world with a lazy slob. People make judgments about you in the first 2 seconds of meeting you, and like it or not this has to do with your physical health and presentation. Instead of loathing people for judging your body, I’m going to tell you how to make them wish they had it. Don’t use your sick new jacket to cover up your gut, use it to compliment your ripped core. When you know you look good naked, you have swagger that resonates to all other parts of your life. Of course there is much more to living a swagger filled life than looks, but it’s not a bad place to start.
Rembrandt – Travel (JetSwagged)
Rembrandt is a mid-twenties young professional that finds himself jet setting on a regular basis for business and pleasure. Growing up in the hotel industry, Rembrandt is no stranger to hotels, flying, car rentals, and other travel expenditures. Currently, Rembrandt works for a family-owned hotel company and real estate conglomerate in which he finds himself “jet-swagging” on a regular basis. Our resident Travel Swagologist has also worked for Starwood Hotels and Resorts, W Brand, in which he has managed hotels in New York City, New Orleans, and San Francisco. When Rembrandt speaks about Travel, people listen, so it is no wonder why he has been a repeat guest speaker at Hospitality Programs in the Bay Area such as San Francisco State University and the University of San Francisco. Through his relentless jet-setting and undeniable personal swagger, Rembrandt has retained high seniority on many corporate rewards programs for his customer loyalty and frequent usage. “In the travel industry, it is all about customer service, quality of product, and consistency. Or as I like to call it; customer qual-sistency”.
Guak Du – Transitioning from “Bro” to “Bad Ass” – (Make the Swag Choice)
My name is Guak Du and I’ve been drunk for damn near half my life. I use to pound out Bud heavies like it was my job. Bottles, cans, chuggles, shot guns you name it I’ve mastered it. Beer gut hanging, I was a king among bros but being a “bro king” doesn’t get you the girl or the 6 figure job . . . it gets you high fives (from dudes), kidney stones, and 20 extra pounds in titties. Its the anti-swag. Much to my dismay, my shit was not Swagg. That’s when I met the swagologists and stepped my game up dramatically. Lets face it, no one is swooning over some beer stained, Santa Clause gut having bro who’s claim to fame is being able to open the side of a beer can with his thumb to set up that perfect shotgun. Anything resembling Santa Claus is not swag. That fat, pasty white pedo fuck has been freaking people out for centuries. What’s going on with that suit you’ve been wearing since 1914, Fatty? Go check out Spring Heeled Jack and Little Red Riding Hood and step you’re game up, player. From that point on I’ve been undergoing a renaissance thanks to the Swagologist. I was able to take the training I learned as a bro, swag that shit up and become a fucking beast. Before Jack & Hood, I was a chubby rice ball dipped in cake batter. Now, If you took Asain David Beckum, mixed him with Bruce Willis and let chuck Liddell Punch that in the face that would be a bruised up me. I’m like Joseph Gordon-Levitt but less of a bitch. Its a work in progress but I’ve already seen a dramatic change in how many people want to fuck me. Call on me from here on out to show you how to tweak your old BRO-ed out ways into Swagged Out Success (SOS bitch). You’ll go from drinking, fighting and getting denied by chicks; to cocktails, crowd control, fine dinning and managing a stable . . . OF BITCHES . . . sorry that was the Yesterbro that is gone forever. Here’s to the Swagg that is yet to be . . .
Can’t wait to get my bf to subscribe to this article so he can master his swagger 😀